It’s Monday, and for many of us today it’s a monumental Monday. Why? Because today, many of us began the unexpected task of becoming our child’s home school teacher.
Admittedly I am not with you…yet. My kids had last week and this week off for their Spring Break, so I have one more week to wrap my head around what that’s going to look like in our house. In my case it will involve working with 3 of my kids’ teachers to cover pre-k and elementary education topics, while also keeping a sweet 2 year old engaged with life. For me though, there’s so much irony to the role I’m about to step into, so much that I see this as an opportunity to give back.
For the last year and a half I’ve been on an unexpected but much desired learning journey. Life got uncomfortable enough for me that I could no longer look to other people to change to accommodate me, I knew I had to start changing from the inside out, which began my journey inward. For anyone who has embarked on this journey, you know what I’m talking about. For any of you reading who hasn’t, well, situations like the one we are currently in may be giving you a glimpse at beginning your trek, depending on how uncomfortable you currently are.
In my case, my kids became my greatest teachers, because they became the most honest and authentic people in my life. As I started to unravel my own inauthenticity, which was wrapped up in believing I had to do things for others so that they would be kind to me and love me in return, I began more closely watching how my kids operate.
My little ones especially hold NOTHING back. When they are angry I know about it. When they are sad they cry without holding back tears. When they are happy they express their happiness without limitations because they aren’t concerned about coming across as “too happy.” They are simply who they are without thinking about it, and I so love that about them.
In the work I’ve done I’ve learned about energetic frequencies. Every emotion vibrates at a certain frequency, and the emotions we feel- whether we are aware of them or not- give our body an aura that acts as a “radio tower.” The vibration we give off is what comes back to us.
I realized my kids were my perfect mirror to radio back to me how I really felt. For so long I’d unconsciously trained myself to turn off how I truly felt to accommodate others needs. This had made me numb and dishonest. I had done it with loving intentions- I wanted those I love and care about to feel loved by me, but I was going about it in an inauthentic way, and ignoring myself in the process- a set up for failure.
Trying to love others while not loving myself is like building a house of cards. It may work for a while, but it’s not built to last.
Realizing this has completely changed my parenting role. When I see my child have a meltdown, I now ask myself what part of me is feeling overwhelmed and needs some comfort. As I comfort my child, I allow myself to feel comforted too. When one of my kids gets mad I ask myself if I’m feeling angry about something, and as I unravel the emotion for me I watch it dissolve for my child as well. (This is actually quite magical and I highly recommend trying it!). I still will lose my cool with my kids, and I make it a point to apologize to them now when I do because I want them to know how much I value them sharing how they feel with me, in any form of expression:
I no longer dread the meltdowns, I’ve come to look forward to them, because I know I get to process another hidden emotion in me and let it go, so it no longer unknowingly effects my aura.
So, as I begin the task of teaching my kids, I see it as me giving back to them in a small way all they’ve given me. Life is a classroom whether we see it that way or not. Perhaps this new way of learning and teaching is a gift designed to help us all “level-up” and learn more about ourselves, to become more of who we truly are.
I challenge us all to find a way to embrace the process and use the emotionally charged moments as an opportunity to connect with how we feel and to know that every emotion is temporary. And, to know that it’s ok to fall apart, it’s just an opportunity to put the pieces back together.